‘Twas the month after Christmas
‘Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste.
All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber)
I’d remember the marvellous meals I’d prepared;
The graves and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.”
As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt …
I said to myself as only I can
“You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”
So … away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won’t have a cookie … not even a lick.
I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread or pie.
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore …
But isn’t that what January if for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet.
Anonymous
- Submitted by Gill Gibbson-Piggot, Chair WFWI